Lost in Translation

The second time I returned to Singapore upon my moving back to the States was back in December 1999 (the first time was when I was 16 and a junior in high school). From December '88 till December '99, I hadn't spoken much Mandarin, on account of just about every Chinese person I had ever encountered speaking Cantonese. For those eleven years, my Mandarin started to deteriorate (weirdly enough, it was still passable when I went back when I was 16, but it went really downhill from there!).

As my mom, stepdad, and I walked through Changi Airport and into the arms of our beloved relatives (my Aunt Geraldine, Uncle Tom, my grandmother, and Aunt Winnie), we quickly fell into conversation about everything that was happening with us. Most importantly, I had really missed my grandmother and quickly took her arm as we started to walk out of the airport and asked her, in Chinese, how she was doing (mind you, my grandmother is a hypochondriac. Most of her ailments really are in her head, but they really stem from common aches and pains like arthritis and knee pain).

Me: "阿婆﹐ 你好嗎﹖ 你怎麼佯啊﹖" (Ah Po, ni hao ma? Ni zen me yang a?")
"Grandmother, how are you? How are you doing?"

Grandma: "啊呀! 阿婆身病啊! 我的腳痛。。。" (Aiya! Ah Po shen bing ah! Wo de jiao tong...")
"Aiya! Grandma's not feeling well! My leg hurts..."

At this point, I couldn't quite remember what "身病 (shen bing)" meant (which means "illness") but I knew something else which sounded similar and thought was what she meant. I then quickly cut her off with:

"阿婆! 你不是神經病!" (Ah Po, ni bu shi shen jing bing!")
"Grandma! You're not crazy!"

At this point, my grandmother saw fit to berate me through and through in the Arrivals section of Changi airport in the middle of a good-sized crowd come to pick up their friends and loved ones. She yelled at me for having forgotten my Chinese and that I was officially useless and was in serious danger of marrying a white guy.

Since then, I have worked hard to relearn my Chinese though there's still LOTS of room for improvement!